One Week Without My Little Boy

It has been one week since Hunter was admitted to the inpatient care unit.  The doctors were thinking on Friday that if he continued on the "upward slope" over the weekend that he may have been ready to come home on Tuesday.  Unfortunately, he has not had a very good weekend.  He has had many meltdowns and some for quite a long time.  I won't talk to the doctors until tomorrow, but Tuesday is not looking good at this point.  

Daddy came home for the weekend just to go see Hunter in the hospital.  I think it was really bothering him being so far from home while his little boy was not at home.  I think Daddy had the same reactions I had last week and it was hard for him.  They did have good visits and Hunter was thrilled to see him.  

Tonight when we went to see Hunter they told us he was really sleepy and was laying down in his room.  They have been giving him a medication that dissolves in his mouth when he is having a meltdown and is suppose to help him calm down.  Last week one time he got the med they said he had taken an hour long nap that day.  Tonight when we saw him, he was in the bed and was awake but very lethargic.  This really bothered both Daddy and I.  It didn't seem like he was tired as much as he seemed drugged.  His little hands were limp and his movements were not typical for him.  This bothers us very much and I will be notifying the hospital that I no longer want this medication used.  It doesn't seem to be effective in calming him down during a meltdown and I have never wanted my kids on meds that change their personality or make them appear drugged.  

Today was hard for Shana too.  She was heading to camp today, which she loves, but things seemed to just start out bad in the morning.  I woke her up and asked her to get a shower and get dressed.  We had picked out the jeans she would wear a few days ago and I pulled one of the extra shirts that we didn't pack.  She got very upset about the shirt and the jeans (even though she picked them for today) and it turned into half-an-hour of complaining about everything.  She finally pulled it together and took a shower and got dressed.  When we arrived at the camp, she got out of the car and got all worked up about whether they would play the name game.  I believe at this point her anxiety level rose out of fear for doing the game with the other girls.  Again it took me nearly 30 minutes to get her calmed down and decide if she would stay.  She loves camp, but I think she would love it more if there were no other girls there.  She likes other girls, but really gets anxious in social situations and doesn't know what to do.  

I have to say this all really sucks.  I saw so many of my friends enjoying days at the lake, pool or just out enjoying the beautiful weather.  Our weekend was nothing like this.  Of course this is typical for us and is often the reason I feel so stressed.  I would love to have some fun family weekends but they are rare.  Even when we plan some fun things to do, often they fall apart before we ever get out the door, or there are meltdowns during the day.  It tends to spoil the day and it often causes us to not plan anything else for a little while.  

Today I am a little down, but still know that God has a plan and that it is perfect.  It doesn't feel perfect today and it may be a long time before I understand how days like this fit His plan and I may never really know.  I will continue to pray for healing and for the doctors to help us find some answers for the kids and some peace for our whole family.