Happy 10th Birthday Shana!

It's hard to believe that 10 years ago today at 11a.m. our little Shana was born. It seems surreal to think that it's been a decade and to think how tiny she started out at a mere 4 lbs. 1 oz. and 17 3/4-inches long. She was a long, lean baby and so sweet and adorable. Many preemies are a little wrinkly when they are born as they haven't quite grown into their skin yet. Shana was not, she was beautiful, although her tiny little feet were a little bit wrinkly. She had a full head of dark black hair and the most beautiful blue eyes. All babies have blue eyes, but she got her Daddy's eyes and they were as blue as the Caribbean sea. She looked at everything with awe and wonder.

I remember going in to the hospital everyday (usually two or three times a day) and changing her diaper and getting her weighed. She was a little sweet bundle of joy. I would change her clothes daily. She was called the best dressed baby in the NICU by one of the nurses and the doctors liked to see what new outfit I had for her. It was not easy dressing her around all of her leads and tubes but I felt she was my daughter and therefore I treated her as such. I wanted her to look beautiful in the blandness of the NICU. I wanted the world to know that even though she had yet to leave the hospital she was going to be cared for.

The day Shana was born, Daddy heard the song I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack on the radio on his way to the hospital. It was the day the song was released and held so much hope in it. Daddy dubbed it Shana's song and it has been ever since. Shana now listens to it on her iPod shuffle and sings it proudly. In school they analyzed the song as part of music class and Shana was so excited to say it was "her song". The words meant so much as I held her in that NICU, some very literally at the time and with hope for the future:


I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
Get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance... I hope you dance

To think of never taking a single breath for granted while your baby is in the hospital on a ventilator unable to breath on their own, or unable to eat without the food being pushed in through a tube. Knowing that had my water broke 12 hours later, we would have been driving home from Albuquerque and would have been miles from the hospital and she may not have survived. God made things happen to keep our baby safe and we will never take them for granted.

There is one other part that hits me today it is sung in the background as Lee Ann sings the I hope you dance part:


Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.

I do wonder where those years have gone, it seems like only yesterday we started this journey. We never expected the challenges we have been given, but at the same time our children are so energetic and full of life. Everyone thinks their child can change the world, and everyone should have such confidence and hope in their children. I look at what Shana has been through in the last 10 years and I know that whatever she brings to the world will be a wonderful gift.

On Shana's 10th birthday pray for her to always choose to dance!